How you get your mom to tell you the truth about Santa

Alex: I need to think about sumfin for a minute.

Me: [trying not to act too curious and pretending to be preoccupied with something else while I wait]

Alex: [looking deeply into my eyes and with a level of seriousness not befitting her age] Is Santa really real?

Me: [uh oh, wasn't expecting this conversation yet-- so I'll try to stall] oh, isn't Santa wonderful? He's so nice and he brings presents... he wants us to be nice to each other too. [stupid, dumb... run away!]

Alex [silent and thinking for a while... finally]: Is Jesus Real?

In the blink of an eye, I flash back to a memory of when I once asking my dad why he doesn't like Christmas very much. He finally explained that when he was a little boy, his parents pushed the Santa idea so much, that when he asked them the truth, they wouldn't tell him. They were very convincing. When he was older and knew the truth about Santa on his own, he remembered sitting in Sacrament Meeting while others bore their testimonies... the thought came to him, "What if my parents were lying about Jesus, too?"

Like a flock of doves streaming from my mouth and without a moment to think it out first, I told Alex the whole truth... how could I not? I wish I would have talked to my older sister a long time ago about how she had this conversation with her kids when it came up, because her explanation is gold. She tells them that anyone who loves children and wants to be kind can be Santa. Whenever I have this conversation again, I'll tell them that, and also that Santa is another good example of how we should all be toward one another. We should be uplifting and kind, selfless and giving. But instead of giving that very good explanation of Santa, I simply told her that he is not real but something fun we pretend at during Christmastime, and I focused instead on Christ. I bore her my testimony of Him and that I know He is real and that he lives. I told her that we celebrate Christmas to remember His birth, when he came into the world to show us a perfect example and then to atone for our sins and then die for us so that we might return to our Father in Heaven. I told her that through Him, we are able to pray to our Heavenly Father and that He watches over us, guides us, and blesses us. I felt the Spirit very strongly as I testified, and I knew that she could feel it too.

But there was still the little problem that I hadn't handled the Santa topic very well. I had just stripped Santa and that childhood magic completely away from Alex, without giving her a thread of childhood magic to hold onto if she wanted to. I didn't realize the gravity of the situation until I started noticing Alex' scowl everything someone mentioned Santa. "What did you ask Santa for?" "Is Santa coming to your house this year?" or a child excitedly telling her, "I saw Santa! He said he would bring me such'n'such!!!" My little girl's eyes grew darker and darker, I could see that she thought all these people were lying to her, and that her friends were being lied to, and the injustice of it all was almost more than she could take.

So I sat her down so we could talk a little bit more about Santa. I told her that it's okay to believe in Santa... then I said, "It's good to believe in Santa. It's really fun to think of Santa bringing us gifts and loving us so much. Even though you know the truth, you can still CHOOSE to believe in Santa." And those must have been the magic words because whatever it meant to her, her whole face lit up and she started to giggle. Now this was still before I had talked to my sister, Mandy, because if I had, my words would have been much better. But Alex seemed delighted and from that moment on, believed in Santa with a dedication I had to admire.

I started to think that Alex had completely forgotten about our initial Santa talk, because there was not a glitch or a contradiction to be found in her words, actions, or even face expressions.

We had an amazing Christmas this year. Even my parents and little sibs, Nessa and Danny came to spend Christmas with us this year. Christmas morning, Dave's parents and his little sibs, Jameson and Julia came over. It was so wonderful to be together. As far as presents, though, well we had a huge present of a puppy a couple months ago so we only did a few presents for the girls and stocking stuffers (from Santa, as well as one present each). The girls were delighted with all their presents, and when you have both sets of grandparents it's kind of impossible to not have lots of presents on Christmas. But this year, Dave and I just wanted to be with family and didn't do any presents for each other, not even stocking stuffers. I didn't think how that would look to the girls on Christmas morning... wish I would have thought that one through. Sure enough, Christmas morning, the girls were thrilled with what Santa brought them in their stockings, but they both noticed that ours were empty. I told them, "Well, Santa mostly brings gifts for children, and Daddy and I LOVE watching you open everything".

After all the presents were opened and I was back in the kitchen, Alex excitedly said, "Mommy! There's something in your stockings!" she made us come over to see and said, "See! Santa brought you something! You just didn't see it!!!" I reached in and found some figurine toys and some candy from her own stocking. Her eyes glittered as she gasped and said, "What did Santa bring you?"